Throne away from Home

Your basic 'kakstoel'...
Your basic ‘kakstoel’…

A friend of mine celebrated his 50th birthday the other day. Being an avid camper and outdoorsman, we decided to buy him his very own ‘kakstoel’ to celebrate this auspicious occasion. The accompanying picture should help to explain the local term ‘kak’ as well as provide a clue as to it’s intended use. The letter below was written to accompany this thoughtful gift!…

Dear Tony
Assuming that the average person kaks once per day – please accept this small gift in commemoration of your 18250th kak. We all hope that it is a memorable one!

The intention of this gift is to enrich the outdoor experience by providing a modicum of comfort when nature calls, but I feel it would be irresponsible of me if I did not provide a few basic safety tips in it’s use in order for you to gain maximum enjoyment from this particular model ……

  • Like your vehicle, this model does not have much ground clearance, so dig your hole deep to avoid bumping your diff.
  • Check the surrounding terrain carefully for hidden mole tunnels.
  • This basic model does NOT have four wheel drive and you could become seriously “bogged” down.
  • Thorn bushes pose a particular hazard and you need to be careful not to scratch your exhaust!
  • The basic model does not allow you to change gear in mid operation. Before you start, you must decide whether you want first (No.1) or second (No.2). Women drivers seem to have the knack of engaging both simultaneously!
  • Remember that other campers do not appreciate a noisy exhaust. Select a location suitably removed from the campsite to avoid embarrassment.
  • Mud flaps are not standard on this model so check your undercarriage afterwards.
  • Remember to vacate the contraption prior to igniting the afterburner or else you will find yourself in the “hotseat”.

Failure to comply with the above may land you in serious shit!

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